Sunday, May 23, 2010
Top 10 Everyday Things People Do To Ruin Their Cars
1. Not Using The Parking Brake
2. Not Coming To A Complete Stop Before Shifting
3. Riding The Brakes Down A Hill
4. Forgetting To Change The Oil
5. Pressure Washing The Engine
6. Starting Your Car The Wrong Way
7. Ignoring Your Car’s Sounds
8. Letting The Interior Go
9. Running Your Car Down To Empty
10. Driving Past Attractive Women
10 signs he's flirting with you
1. The Eyebrow Lift
When a guy first sees a girl he's attracted to, chances his eyebrows will rise and fall. Quickly.
(You can slip the flip of an eyebrow back at him, if you're interested - it's a clear signal both ways.)
2. Gaining Your Attention
Exaggerated movements or gestures usually mean that he's trying to stand out from the crowd.
He may shift positions so that he is standing slightly apart from his friends or a group of people.
3. Slight Parting of the Lips
His lips may automatically part for a second when your eyes first meet.
4. His Nostrils Open Slightly - Face Widens
As his eyebrows raise and nostrils flare slightly so with the parted lips, he has an open, friendly expression on his face.
5. He Shifts to the Classic Male Courship Stance
The macho stance (cowboy style) - he'll probably lock his thumbs in his belt or belt loops, point his fingers downwards, spread his legs about shoulder distance apart and tilt his head to one side.
6. Touches His Own Face
He may rub his chin, brush his cheek with the back of his fingers or touch his ears.
(He may not realize this is a combination of nerves and unconscious preening behavior.)
7. Strokes His Shirt Front, Smoothes his Jeans
More unconscious preening - smoothing a shirt sleeve, tie, shirt pocket.
(The equivalent of the female lip lick.)
8. Fiddles with His Hair
He may smooth or tussle his hair involuntarily and more often than you might realize - again preening for you...
9. Eyebrows Arc While Talking
He may, accidentally, exhibit a slightly surprised expression with slightly raised eyebrows - which means he is interested in you.
(Forget the guy who looks at you with a smooth, relaxed brow and eyes - he thinks you're boring. You probably think he's boring so drop your eyebrows and more on.)
10. He seems especially nervous when he’s talking to you.
When a guy first sees a girl he's attracted to, chances his eyebrows will rise and fall. Quickly.
(You can slip the flip of an eyebrow back at him, if you're interested - it's a clear signal both ways.)
2. Gaining Your Attention
Exaggerated movements or gestures usually mean that he's trying to stand out from the crowd.
He may shift positions so that he is standing slightly apart from his friends or a group of people.
3. Slight Parting of the Lips
His lips may automatically part for a second when your eyes first meet.
4. His Nostrils Open Slightly - Face Widens
As his eyebrows raise and nostrils flare slightly so with the parted lips, he has an open, friendly expression on his face.
5. He Shifts to the Classic Male Courship Stance
The macho stance (cowboy style) - he'll probably lock his thumbs in his belt or belt loops, point his fingers downwards, spread his legs about shoulder distance apart and tilt his head to one side.
6. Touches His Own Face
He may rub his chin, brush his cheek with the back of his fingers or touch his ears.
(He may not realize this is a combination of nerves and unconscious preening behavior.)
7. Strokes His Shirt Front, Smoothes his Jeans
More unconscious preening - smoothing a shirt sleeve, tie, shirt pocket.
(The equivalent of the female lip lick.)
8. Fiddles with His Hair
He may smooth or tussle his hair involuntarily and more often than you might realize - again preening for you...
9. Eyebrows Arc While Talking
He may, accidentally, exhibit a slightly surprised expression with slightly raised eyebrows - which means he is interested in you.
(Forget the guy who looks at you with a smooth, relaxed brow and eyes - he thinks you're boring. You probably think he's boring so drop your eyebrows and more on.)
10. He seems especially nervous when he’s talking to you.
Top 10 Flirting Tips
10. Flirting is an attitude:
A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks.
Be enthusiastic and positive, it works!
9. Start a conversation:
The best opening line is saying hello.
Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, state an opinion.
8. Have fun:
Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous.
Show your vulnerability.
7. Use props:
Never leave home without a prop.
Props are natural conversation starters. They encourage conversation and others will be compelled to start talking to you.
Great props include: dogs, kids, unusual jewelry, a irresistable scent, a sweatshirt with your favorite passion or personalized Hoodie with your Rhinestone Initial icon or T-Shirt with your Rhinestone Initial icon ties, Guy's Personalized Sweatshirt icon hats, or an interesting book or newspaper.
6. Be the host:
Change your behavior from the role of guest to host.
You are not the passive person in waiting, but rather the welcome committee.
5. Make the first move: Move closer to the person you want to meet.
Say hello!
4. Listen:
You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice as much as you speak.
Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be drawn to you.
Everyone loves to be heard.
3. Eye contact:
Make eye contact, but please look your partner in the eye gently (no more than 2-4 seconds) and then glance away.
Don't stare, it's a turn off.
2. Compliment:
Compliment your flirting partner. The best compliments have the element of surprise.
The "flirtee" will know that you really noticed them.
Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine.
When you receive a compliment the best response is merely, Thank You!
1. Smile:
It is contagious.
It will make you so much more approachable.
A smile lights up your face and draws people to you. You will be a people magnet.
-written for giggles and lols-
10 Signs that He Likes You
1. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation.
It may take you by surprise. You might have been talking when he was around and two weeks later he'll say, "Well, you like orange fizz..."
2. His voice changes when he talks to you in a group. He may say "Hey." to everyone with you, but the "Hey." to you is a little different.
3. His voice gets softer when the two of you talk.
4. Sometimes he stares straight into your eyes.
5. His eyes get 'soft' when he looks at you. They change slightly or get relaxed around the edges. It's subtle, but you can tell if you watch...
(You may already be aware of it at a subconscious level - that's what made you start wondering if he likes you...)
6. When he's near you or talking with you, his eyes travel in a little circle around your face and land back on your eyes. (Like he's looking at your whole face - then back to your eyes.)
7. His friends start asking you questions - if you haven't met him yet - they may ask what your name is. Or may ask you what you think about 'him.'
8. If his friends are paying attention to you after he's been staring at you - it can mean that he's been talking about you.
9. He tells you that you smell nice...
(No hidden meaning here - it's a good thing.)
10. He might act weird around you or seem very nervous. His behavior may just plain change when you're around.
-written for giggles and lols-
Top 10 Lies Mommy and Daddy Told Me
1. There is a Santa Claus, but he'll only visit you if you're good.
2. This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you.
3. Mommy and Daddy are taking a nap.
4. If you tell me the truth, you won't get in trouble.
5. Eating your vegetables will make you grow up big and strong
6. If you play with your privates too much, they'll drop off/you'll go blind.
7. If you keep making that face, your face will stay that way
8. Mommy and/or Daddy never took illegal drugs/drank underage/had premarital sex.
9. SpongeBob's not on this week/the TV is broken/our cable is out.
10. The stork brought you to us.
-written for giggles and lols-
25 Funny Ways To Describe Masturbation
- Taking the flute to band camp
- Stuffing the pink taco
- The five knuckle shuffle
- Petting My Little Pony
- Rub one out
- Cleaning out the cobwebs
- Yodel In the Canyon
- Turn the knob
- Tampering with the smoke detector
- Buffin’ the muffin
- Turning myself into a hand puppet
- Basting the turkey
- Practicing
- Self-service
- Flying solo
- Feeling slap happy
- Watering the flower
- Priming the pump
- All hands on deck
- Cure for boredom
- Tickle your fancy
- Thumb a ride
- Paddling the pink canoe
- Preheat the oven
- Staying in with BOB (battery operated boyfriend)
-written for giggles and lols-
Top 10 FML
1. Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
2. Today, I wanted to have a good lunch with my wife before fasting for my surgery which I may not survive, she decided getting her hair cut was more important. I ate alone. FML
3. Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
4. Today I noticed that my daughter was making funny noises which oddly resembled the sounds my wife makes in bed. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm pretending to be mommy from last night." I was on a business trip last night. FML
5. Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped
a pimple on his neck into my mouth. FML
6. Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
7. Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to Itunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML
8. Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML
9. Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
10. Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
10 Things Only Men Can Do
No.1 - Age well
No.2 - F*** things
No.3 - Pee standing up
No.4 - Fertilize eggs
No.5 - Play real sports
Be honest; which of these would you prefer to watch: WNBA or NBA? NHL or women’s hockey? NFL or women’s rugby? MLB or softball?
`No.6 - Shave our heads
From Michael Jordan to David Beckham to Samuel L. Jackson guys wear bald better. Still need more proof? Just look at bald Britney.
No.7 - Navigate spatially
This explains why more men are math geniuses than women.
No.8 - Manscape
The playoff beard, the love canal, the Fu Manchu, and the goatee are strictly male innovations, and growing them are things only men can do.
No.9 - Hold our liquor
Men produce more of the protective enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase, which breaks down alcohol.
No.10 - Go topless
20 Things Women Can Do That Guys Can’t
1. Get pregnant: Sure, guys contribute but they’ll never get as close (literally!) as we get to our own babies.
2. Fake it: Cue the famous scene from When Harry Met Sally. Enough said.
3. Ask for directions: We have no problem pulling over and asking for help. Consulting the GPS doesn't count either, boys.
4. Look sexy while sipping fruity cocktails: What guy do you know can look hot with a pink drink in his hand? Oh, and by the way, we look damn good drinking beer too.
5. Live longer: It’s a fact, women live five to ten years longer than men. Plenty of time to take a few more vacations, have a few more orgasms, and maybe hook another hubby.
6. Have multiple orgasms: No need for us to wait and, um, reload.
7. Multitask: We can talk to our BFF on the phone, while watching America’s Next Top Model and doing lunges. No sweat.
8. Get a new last name: Or just drop it all together, à la Fergie and Madonna.
9. Wear skirts: They keep us sooo much cooler in the summer than men’s shorts. Plus, a hot mini is sure to score us a few free drinks at the bar.
10. Get out of a speeding ticket: A little smile and a “Sorry, officer” is all it takes to get off scot-free.
11. Become a cougar, not a dirty old man: Sure, the idea of an older man sounds hot, but the reality is often a skeezy shmuck. Cougars, however, are fierce. Like: Demi Moore.
12. Wing it on the dance floor...convincingly: Guys will be so busy checking out your shaking booty, they won’t even notice you’re not a great dancer.
13. Wear high-heels: They add four inches to our height and make our legs look fab. Hey guys, what do your ratty old sneakers do for your physique?
14. Flirt with the bouncer: We bat our eyes at the doorman and get in the door with no cover charge. If a guy were to try it, we’re thinking he might get kicked out of line.
15. Blame it on PMS: Just say the words "cramp," "tampon" or “period” and men instantly let you have your way.
16. Grow out our hair: We miss a haircut appointment and our hair just looks longer and sexier. Guys miss theirs and they start looking like they’re homeless.
17. Cover up a zit: Both men and women are prone to blemishes, but one of the sexes has a multitude of concealers and creams at their disposal to cover them up.
18. Get aroused without the entire room knowing it: We don’t have to cross our legs or grab the nearest textbook whenever we get turned on in public.
19. Wear a thong: They make our ass look great and are a surefire way to turn on a guy. If a dude tried donning one, well, it would just look gross!
20. Get a manicure: Hanging at the nail salon is just a normal day for a woman. But a guy getting a mani/pedi is bound to get weird looks.
2. Fake it: Cue the famous scene from When Harry Met Sally. Enough said.
3. Ask for directions: We have no problem pulling over and asking for help. Consulting the GPS doesn't count either, boys.
4. Look sexy while sipping fruity cocktails: What guy do you know can look hot with a pink drink in his hand? Oh, and by the way, we look damn good drinking beer too.
5. Live longer: It’s a fact, women live five to ten years longer than men. Plenty of time to take a few more vacations, have a few more orgasms, and maybe hook another hubby.
6. Have multiple orgasms: No need for us to wait and, um, reload.
7. Multitask: We can talk to our BFF on the phone, while watching America’s Next Top Model and doing lunges. No sweat.
8. Get a new last name: Or just drop it all together, à la Fergie and Madonna.
9. Wear skirts: They keep us sooo much cooler in the summer than men’s shorts. Plus, a hot mini is sure to score us a few free drinks at the bar.
10. Get out of a speeding ticket: A little smile and a “Sorry, officer” is all it takes to get off scot-free.
11. Become a cougar, not a dirty old man: Sure, the idea of an older man sounds hot, but the reality is often a skeezy shmuck. Cougars, however, are fierce. Like: Demi Moore.
12. Wing it on the dance floor...convincingly: Guys will be so busy checking out your shaking booty, they won’t even notice you’re not a great dancer.
13. Wear high-heels: They add four inches to our height and make our legs look fab. Hey guys, what do your ratty old sneakers do for your physique?
14. Flirt with the bouncer: We bat our eyes at the doorman and get in the door with no cover charge. If a guy were to try it, we’re thinking he might get kicked out of line.
15. Blame it on PMS: Just say the words "cramp," "tampon" or “period” and men instantly let you have your way.
16. Grow out our hair: We miss a haircut appointment and our hair just looks longer and sexier. Guys miss theirs and they start looking like they’re homeless.
17. Cover up a zit: Both men and women are prone to blemishes, but one of the sexes has a multitude of concealers and creams at their disposal to cover them up.
18. Get aroused without the entire room knowing it: We don’t have to cross our legs or grab the nearest textbook whenever we get turned on in public.
19. Wear a thong: They make our ass look great and are a surefire way to turn on a guy. If a dude tried donning one, well, it would just look gross!
20. Get a manicure: Hanging at the nail salon is just a normal day for a woman. But a guy getting a mani/pedi is bound to get weird looks.
Top 10 Workout Songs
No.10 - Wolfmother – “Joker & the Thief”
No.9 - Puff Daddy (featuring Notorious B.I.G.) – “Victory”
No.8 - Metallica – “Master of Puppets”
No.7 - Kanye West – “Stronger"
No.6 - Fort Minor – “Remember the Name”
No.5 - Daft Punk – “Harder Better Faster Stronger”
No.4 - AC/DC – “ThunderstrucK"
No.3 - LL Cool J – “Mama Said Knock You Out”
No.2 - Eminem – “Till I Collapse"
No.1 - Survivor – “Eye of the Tiger"
No.9 - Puff Daddy (featuring Notorious B.I.G.) – “Victory”
No.8 - Metallica – “Master of Puppets”
No.7 - Kanye West – “Stronger"
No.6 - Fort Minor – “Remember the Name”
No.5 - Daft Punk – “Harder Better Faster Stronger”
No.4 - AC/DC – “ThunderstrucK"
No.3 - LL Cool J – “Mama Said Knock You Out”
No.2 - Eminem – “Till I Collapse"
No.1 - Survivor – “Eye of the Tiger"
10 things guys wish girls knew - Shocking!
1 Calling you on the phone does not mean what you think it means.
2 You are much prettier without all that makeup.
3 When you act spazzy and giggly, ifs seriously embarrassing.
4 Gossiping, whispering and writing notes make you look beyond shallow.
5 Boys worry about what you think of their hair, skin, weight and clothes.
6 PMS is no excuse to he mean.
7 Talking about your "big" butt is so boring.
8 Tight clothes look uncomfortable, cheap, and sort of desperate and insecure.
9 Most boys are looking for the right girl.
10 If you like him, just tell him.
2 You are much prettier without all that makeup.
3 When you act spazzy and giggly, ifs seriously embarrassing.
4 Gossiping, whispering and writing notes make you look beyond shallow.
5 Boys worry about what you think of their hair, skin, weight and clothes.
6 PMS is no excuse to he mean.
7 Talking about your "big" butt is so boring.
8 Tight clothes look uncomfortable, cheap, and sort of desperate and insecure.
9 Most boys are looking for the right girl.
10 If you like him, just tell him.
10 things guys regret the most in their life
No.10 - Not playing a team sport
No.9 - Not staying in touch with friends
No.8 - Not getting in a fight
No.7 - Not splurging on a badass car
No.6 - Getting married too soon
No.5 - Not sleeping with all willing parties
No.4 - Being a workaholic
No.3 - Ignoring your health
No.2 - Not spending enough time with dad
No.1 - Not going after the hot girl
No.9 - Not staying in touch with friends
No.8 - Not getting in a fight
No.7 - Not splurging on a badass car
No.6 - Getting married too soon
No.5 - Not sleeping with all willing parties
No.4 - Being a workaholic
No.3 - Ignoring your health
No.2 - Not spending enough time with dad
No.1 - Not going after the hot girl
69 Sweetest Things To Do With Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend
1. Back rubs/massages.
2. French Kiss.
3. Whisper to each other.
4. Skinny dip.
5. Hold hands.
6. Buy gifts for each other.
7. Roses.
8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.
9. Kiss at every chance you get.
10. Lightly kiss their collarbone and their jawbone just below the ear, then whisper I love you.
11. Hugs are the universal medicine.
12. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.
13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie.
15. Spend every second possible together.
16. Tell her that she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to. And mean it.
17. Look into each other's eyes.
18. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.
19. When in public, only flirt w/ each other.
20. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.
21. Buy her a ring.
22. PDA = Public Display of Affection.
23. Take advantage of any time alone together.
24. Tell her about how you answered every question in math with her name.
25. Let her sit on your lap.
26. Lips were made for kissing. So were eyes, and fingers, and cheeks, and collarbones, and hands, and ears.
27. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
28. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.
29. Unless you can feel their heart beating, you aren't close enough.
30. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
31. Break every one of your parent's relationship rules for them.
32. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes.
33. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.
34. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.
35. Ride your bike 8 miles just to see them for a few hours.
36. Ride home and call them.
37. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
38. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
39. Hang out with his/her friends.
40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.
41. Everyone deserves a second chance.
42. Make sacrifices for each other.
43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.
44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it.
45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
46. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
47. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
48. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
49. Never forget the kiss goodnight. And always remember to say, "Sweet dreams."
2. French Kiss.
3. Whisper to each other.
4. Skinny dip.
5. Hold hands.
6. Buy gifts for each other.
7. Roses.
8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.
9. Kiss at every chance you get.
10. Lightly kiss their collarbone and their jawbone just below the ear, then whisper I love you.
11. Hugs are the universal medicine.
12. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.
13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie.
15. Spend every second possible together.
16. Tell her that she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to. And mean it.
17. Look into each other's eyes.
18. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.
19. When in public, only flirt w/ each other.
20. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.
21. Buy her a ring.
22. PDA = Public Display of Affection.
23. Take advantage of any time alone together.
24. Tell her about how you answered every question in math with her name.
25. Let her sit on your lap.
26. Lips were made for kissing. So were eyes, and fingers, and cheeks, and collarbones, and hands, and ears.
27. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
28. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.
29. Unless you can feel their heart beating, you aren't close enough.
30. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
31. Break every one of your parent's relationship rules for them.
32. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes.
33. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.
34. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.
35. Ride your bike 8 miles just to see them for a few hours.
36. Ride home and call them.
37. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
38. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
39. Hang out with his/her friends.
40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.
41. Everyone deserves a second chance.
42. Make sacrifices for each other.
43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.
44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it.
45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
46. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
47. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
48. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
49. Never forget the kiss goodnight. And always remember to say, "Sweet dreams."
21 Most Embarrassing Names in English
Barb Dwyer
Pearl Button
Hazel Nutt
Ray Gun
Helen Back
Stan Still
Jo King
Lee King
Terry Bull
Mary Christmas
Ben Dover
Max Power
Paige Turner
Sonny Day
Harry Butt
Tim Burr
Teresa Green
Will Power
Anna Sasin
Chris Cross
Doug Hole
Justin Case
Barry Cade
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