1. Get pregnant: Sure, guys contribute but they’ll never get as close (literally!) as we get to our own babies.
2. Fake it: Cue the famous scene from When Harry Met Sally. Enough said.
3. Ask for directions: We have no problem pulling over and asking for help. Consulting the GPS doesn't count either, boys.
4. Look sexy while sipping fruity cocktails: What guy do you know can look hot with a pink drink in his hand? Oh, and by the way, we look damn good drinking beer too.
5. Live longer: It’s a fact, women live five to ten years longer than men. Plenty of time to take a few more vacations, have a few more orgasms, and maybe hook another hubby.
6. Have multiple orgasms: No need for us to wait and, um, reload.
7. Multitask: We can talk to our BFF on the phone, while watching America’s Next Top Model and doing lunges. No sweat.
8. Get a new last name: Or just drop it all together, à la Fergie and Madonna.
9. Wear skirts: They keep us sooo much cooler in the summer than men’s shorts. Plus, a hot mini is sure to score us a few free drinks at the bar.
10. Get out of a speeding ticket: A little smile and a “Sorry, officer” is all it takes to get off scot-free.
11. Become a cougar, not a dirty old man: Sure, the idea of an older man sounds hot, but the reality is often a skeezy shmuck. Cougars, however, are fierce. Like: Demi Moore.
12. Wing it on the dance floor...convincingly: Guys will be so busy checking out your shaking booty, they won’t even notice you’re not a great dancer.
13. Wear high-heels: They add four inches to our height and make our legs look fab. Hey guys, what do your ratty old sneakers do for your physique?
14. Flirt with the bouncer: We bat our eyes at the doorman and get in the door with no cover charge. If a guy were to try it, we’re thinking he might get kicked out of line.
15. Blame it on PMS: Just say the words "cramp," "tampon" or “period” and men instantly let you have your way.
16. Grow out our hair: We miss a haircut appointment and our hair just looks longer and sexier. Guys miss theirs and they start looking like they’re homeless.
17. Cover up a zit: Both men and women are prone to blemishes, but one of the sexes has a multitude of concealers and creams at their disposal to cover them up.
18. Get aroused without the entire room knowing it: We don’t have to cross our legs or grab the nearest textbook whenever we get turned on in public.
19. Wear a thong: They make our ass look great and are a surefire way to turn on a guy. If a dude tried donning one, well, it would just look gross!
20. Get a manicure: Hanging at the nail salon is just a normal day for a woman. But a guy getting a mani/pedi is bound to get weird looks.
2. Fake it: Cue the famous scene from When Harry Met Sally. Enough said.
3. Ask for directions: We have no problem pulling over and asking for help. Consulting the GPS doesn't count either, boys.
4. Look sexy while sipping fruity cocktails: What guy do you know can look hot with a pink drink in his hand? Oh, and by the way, we look damn good drinking beer too.
5. Live longer: It’s a fact, women live five to ten years longer than men. Plenty of time to take a few more vacations, have a few more orgasms, and maybe hook another hubby.
6. Have multiple orgasms: No need for us to wait and, um, reload.
7. Multitask: We can talk to our BFF on the phone, while watching America’s Next Top Model and doing lunges. No sweat.
8. Get a new last name: Or just drop it all together, à la Fergie and Madonna.
9. Wear skirts: They keep us sooo much cooler in the summer than men’s shorts. Plus, a hot mini is sure to score us a few free drinks at the bar.
10. Get out of a speeding ticket: A little smile and a “Sorry, officer” is all it takes to get off scot-free.
11. Become a cougar, not a dirty old man: Sure, the idea of an older man sounds hot, but the reality is often a skeezy shmuck. Cougars, however, are fierce. Like: Demi Moore.
12. Wing it on the dance floor...convincingly: Guys will be so busy checking out your shaking booty, they won’t even notice you’re not a great dancer.
13. Wear high-heels: They add four inches to our height and make our legs look fab. Hey guys, what do your ratty old sneakers do for your physique?
14. Flirt with the bouncer: We bat our eyes at the doorman and get in the door with no cover charge. If a guy were to try it, we’re thinking he might get kicked out of line.
15. Blame it on PMS: Just say the words "cramp," "tampon" or “period” and men instantly let you have your way.
16. Grow out our hair: We miss a haircut appointment and our hair just looks longer and sexier. Guys miss theirs and they start looking like they’re homeless.
17. Cover up a zit: Both men and women are prone to blemishes, but one of the sexes has a multitude of concealers and creams at their disposal to cover them up.
18. Get aroused without the entire room knowing it: We don’t have to cross our legs or grab the nearest textbook whenever we get turned on in public.
19. Wear a thong: They make our ass look great and are a surefire way to turn on a guy. If a dude tried donning one, well, it would just look gross!
20. Get a manicure: Hanging at the nail salon is just a normal day for a woman. But a guy getting a mani/pedi is bound to get weird looks.
beyond sexist haha. But hilarious.
ReplyDeleteyou do look sexy with a beer amazingly
ReplyDeletenotice how no mean get offended by this, but in the ten things that men can do better, there are a bunch of women getting super mad.
ReplyDelete